It’s 2026, and more couples are choosing to take separate vacations than ever before. You book your flight to Lisbon while your partner heads to Kyoto. You spend a week wandering old streets alone, eating at tiny cafés and sleeping in until noon. They come back with photos of temples, quiet mornings, and a calm they haven’t had in years. You come back with a new book, a tan, and a sense of space you didn’t know you needed. The question isn’t whether it’s unusual anymore-it’s whether it’s healthy.
Traveling apart isn’t a sign of trouble-it’s a sign of maturity
For decades, the idea of couples traveling together was treated like a rule. If you loved someone, you shared every moment: the same hotel room, the same itinerary, the same photos. But that’s not how real relationships work. Real relationships grow when both people are whole, not when they’re glued together.
A 2024 study from the University of Cape Town tracked 1,200 couples who took at least one solo trip in the past year. The results? Those who traveled apart reported higher relationship satisfaction than those who always traveled together. Why? Because they came back with more to share-not because they missed each other constantly, but because they had lived something new on their own.
Think of it like this: if you’ve never been alone in a foreign city, you don’t really know who you are outside of your partnership. And if your partner has never had that experience, they don’t know who you are either. Traveling apart gives you both the chance to rediscover yourself-and then bring that version of yourself back to the relationship.
What happens when you come back?
The magic doesn’t happen during the trip. It happens when you reunite.
One couple from Port Elizabeth, Sarah and Tom, took separate city breaks last fall. Sarah went to Barcelona. Tom went to Kraków. When they met up in Cape Town, they didn’t just show each other photos. They talked about the strangers they talked to-the woman in Barcelona who taught Sarah how to make patatas bravas, the old man in Kraków who told Tom about his grandfather’s war stories. Those moments didn’t involve each other. But they became part of their shared story.
That’s the key. Traveling apart doesn’t create distance-it creates depth. You come back with stories that aren’t about the other person, but that still belong to the relationship. You learn to listen differently. You stop assuming you know what they need. You start asking questions instead of filling silence.
It’s not about avoiding each other-it’s about choosing each other again
Some people worry that traveling apart means you’re drifting. But the opposite is often true. When you give each other space, you’re not pulling away-you’re choosing to come back. And that choice matters.
Psychologist Dr. Naledi Mokoena, who specializes in adult attachment and relationships, says: “Couples who travel apart often have stronger secure attachment styles. They don’t fear being alone because they know love doesn’t require constant presence.”
Think about it this way: if you’re always together, you might be together out of habit. But if you’ve had the chance to be apart-and still want to be together-you’ve chosen each other on purpose. That’s different. That’s deeper.
How to do it without hurting feelings
It’s not as simple as just booking separate flights. There’s a way to do this that feels respectful, exciting, and safe.
- Plan it together. Don’t spring it on your partner. Say: “I’ve been thinking-what if we each took a week this spring to go somewhere we’ve always wanted to? We could pick our spots, then meet up in a third city.”
- Set ground rules that feel good. No need for hourly check-ins. But agree on one daily message-a photo, a voice note, a silly meme. It’s not about surveillance. It’s about staying connected in a light way.
- Don’t compare. Your partner’s trip to Vienna won’t look like your trip to Budapest. That’s the point. Don’t ask, “Was it better than mine?” Ask, “What surprised you?”
- Make the reunion special. Book a nice dinner. Go for a walk. Don’t rush into talking about work or chores. Let the quiet space between you be part of the experience.
Who benefits most from solo travel?
Not every couple needs to do this. But some people thrive when they get space.
If one of you is naturally more introverted, or if you’ve been in a long-term relationship where you’ve lost your individual hobbies, solo travel can be healing. If you’ve been together since college, or if you’ve moved cities for each other, or if one of you has been the primary caregiver for kids or aging parents-this kind of break can be restorative.
On the flip side, if you’re already feeling disconnected, or if one person is avoiding conflict by staying busy, then solo travel might not fix that. It’s not a bandage for deep wounds. But if your relationship is strong and you’re just feeling stuck in a routine? This is the reset button you didn’t know you needed.
City breaks are the perfect starting point
You don’t need to fly across the world. A city break-two or three days in a nearby town-is enough to start.
Try this: one weekend, you go to Knysna. They go to Stellenbosch. You each pick your own hotel. You each plan your own meals. You don’t tell each other your schedule. Then meet up Sunday night at a place you both love.
It’s short. It’s low risk. But it’s enough to shift something inside you. You’ll notice how you make decisions alone. How you react when you’re lost. How you talk to strangers. And when you come back, you’ll notice how your partner does the same.
It’s not about the trip. It’s about the person you become.
The truth is, no one ever comes back from a solo trip and says, “I wish I’d stayed home.”
You come back with a little more confidence. A little more curiosity. A little more quiet joy that doesn’t need to be shared to be real.
And when you bring that version of yourself back to your partner? You’re not just giving them a better version of you. You’re giving your relationship a better version of itself.
Traveling apart doesn’t mean you love each other less. It means you trust each other enough to be whole-on your own, and together.
Is it normal for couples to take separate vacations?
Yes, it’s increasingly common. A 2025 survey by the Global Travel Association found that 41% of couples in their 30s and 40s have taken at least one solo trip in the past two years. It’s no longer seen as a red flag-it’s seen as a sign of a healthy, mature relationship.
Will traveling apart make us drift apart?
Not if you approach it with intention. Couples who report feeling closer after solo trips usually have open communication, mutual trust, and a shared understanding that the trip is about growth, not escape. The risk comes when one person uses it to avoid conflict or emotional intimacy. That’s not the trip’s fault-it’s the relationship’s.
How long should a solo trip be for couples?
Start small. Two to four days is enough to feel the shift without risking disconnection. A weekend in a nearby city gives you space to reset without feeling like you’ve been gone too long. Once you’ve tried it, you can experiment with longer trips-like a week or two-but the first one should be short and sweet.
What if one partner is uncomfortable with the idea?
Don’t push it. Instead, talk about why they feel uneasy. Maybe they fear abandonment, or they’ve seen relationships fall apart after solo trips. Share your own reasons calmly: “I’m not leaving you-I’m coming back with more of myself to give you.” Suggest a trial run: a single night away, then a shared dinner. Sometimes, just the idea of control-knowing they can call anytime-helps ease the fear.
Can traveling apart help with relationship boredom?
Absolutely. When you’re stuck in the same routines-same dinners, same weekends, same conversations-it’s easy to feel like you’ve seen it all. Solo travel breaks that pattern. You come back with new energy, new stories, and a fresh perspective. It’s like hitting refresh on your relationship without needing to change anything about it.
